The Cookie You Just Can't Live Without

A couple of posts back, I had promised to post a re-organized version of the Neiman-Marcus cookies, and that is exactly what I am doing right...NOW!!! Here we go.

Neiman-Marcus Cookies

5 c. oatmeal

2 c. butter (4 sticks. Yes. You read that right. 4 STICKS OF BEAUTIFUL, GLORIOUS BUTTER).

2 c. granulated sugar

2 c. brown sugar

4 eggs

2 tsp. vanilla

4 c. flour

1 tsp. salt

2 tsp. baking powder

2 tsp. baking soda

3 c. semisweet chocolate chips

One 8-oz Hershey Bar; grated (A word of advice-stick this monstrosity in the freezer for about 15 minutes before you attempt to grate it. You'll thank me later. Oh, and a box grater is fine. There's really no easy way to complete this step. Just...oh, just brace yourself).

3 c. chopped pecans

Take a deep breath...let's do this.

Blend oatmeal to a fine powder. In a mixer, cream butter and both white and brown sugar. Add eggs and vanilla. Mix together blended oatmeal, flour, salt, baking powder, and baking soda. Slowly add to mixer (I usually add about one cup at a time). Once your mixer starts smoking and the engine feels hot, dump the cookie dough into the largest bowl you own. I'm talking MAMMOTH sized bowl. Add the chocolate chips, grated Hershey Bar, and chopped pecans, and mix together using your CLEAN BARE HANDS. Once everything is fairly well conglomerated, roll cookie dough into small balls (think ping-pong ball) and place 2" apart on a cookie sheet. Bake 10 minutes at 375 degrees.

Yield: 120 cookies.

Yep. 120 cookies. These could be the only Christmas cookie you'll ever make again. I am that confident in its wonderfulness. One more word of advice: DO NOT EVEN CONSIDER THINKING OF REDUCING THE AMOUNT OF BUTTER. So there. Now it time for me to turn up the heat because it's about -50 outside right now, start the dishwasher, wash up, and tumble into bed. Oh, one more thing: Feel free to halve the recipe. I know it's a wild mustang of a cookie recipe, so don't let the vastness of it all intimidate you. With that, I leave you one of my favorite quotes of all time (this may or may not be a perfect quote):

"Do not let anyone make you feel inferior without your consent." - Eleanor Roosevelt.

And that goes for insanely high-yield cookie recipes!! Tackle it...be fearless.

Panic.

Oh my. Oh me, oh my. Where does one begin? Well, here goes. Warning: the following will most likely not make very much sense. At all. Consider yourself warned.

Last night, our van died. The transmission decided that it had lived a full life, and the seven-degree temperatures only encouraged its decision to give up the mechanical ghost.

We are officially now a one-car family. *Insert massive shrieks and screams and rolling around the floor, convulsing*

We are shopping for a "new" car. I'm hoping for something that will last for about, oh, I don't know. 50 years? There are cars that last 50 years, right? Hmph. I thought so.

My kitchen floor is gross. I didn't say goodbye to Sarah. I've been feeling like a sad excuse for a mother lately. I want to go to North Carolina. I need to go to bed earlier. I need to scrapbook. I wish Spring started tomorrow. Hurray; "Three's Company" is on!!! Speaking of tuna, I will be making the Bouchons Au Thon tomorrow. I want to go to North Carolina. There's nothing like clean kitchen counters. Becoming a coffee drinker has never been more tempting. It's time to buy a navy blue jumpsuit! God Bless my mother-in-law; she comes up on Thursdays and does laundry all day. Steve is being very patient with me right now. I had some Hickory-Smoked Barbecue Sauce the other day, and I nearly cried. I want to go to North Carolina. I've discovered a new tea. I forgot the name. I love my three boys. Speaking of good haircuts, we finally started doing school again, and it's going quite well. I'm going to run tomorrow, dangit! I am grateful for having braces. I'm thirsty. Which reminds me, where is that blasted Kleenex box?? At any rate, I love my mattress, and that is where I'm headed right...about...NOW. Good night. Maybe I'll be more coherent and less random later this week. Which reminds me, I need to balance my checkbook. Good night.

There's a New Kid in Town

There's something new in my kitchen. I'm still pinching myself. Allow me to introduce you to the newest member of my kitchen staff:

Why, hello there.

Can it be?

Why, yes; it can.

Unsure. Pensive. Is this real?

Why yes; it is. Let's get closer. Let us...investigate.

Insert Homer Simpson drooling sound *here*

Happy Mary.

Her name...is Clotilde.

Clotilde...you and I are going places. We'll travel the world in our kitchen!

Thanks to my sister Meg for taking all the pics. I love cooking and baking with you. Heck, I just flat-out love YOU.

Merry Christmas...to me.

And there is nothing more to say.

And now for something completely different...

It is officially three days until Christmas, and while I've been doing some Christmas baking here and there, I have not gone completely Martha Stewart and most likely will not until my wee ones are a bit older. However, I am immensely enjoying the holiday season and being able to move around (read: not painfully pregnant). Thus far, I have made:

1) Neiman-Marcus cookies.

2) Burnt-sugar almonds.

Hmm. I must have a thing for hyphens.

Oh, and:

3) Spritz cookies (little green Christmas trees and purple snowflakes! I am so cool!!)

And that's all, folks!!

Har-dee-har-har. Not really. The Neiman-Marcus are a bit of a tradition for me. My mom received the recipe in a forwarded email from a friend when I was about 14 or so, and they came with such a glowing recommendation from said friend that we decided to try them after our next grocery store run. When you live 20 minutes from any grocery store, you never, EVER, go out on a whim just because you're positively DYING to try out a new recipe. Nope. You compile a massive list. You wait. And sometimes you wait for a long, long, time.

Or so it felt like a long, long time to an anxious 14 year old.

Anyway.

The blessed event finally came, and off we went to our beloved Woodmans (it's a family thing).

Then, we made the Neiman-Marcus cookies.

And we haven't stopped making them since.

At least for Christmas. But seriously, folks. If I had to describe the Neiman-Marcus cookies, I would describe as the ultimate double-chocolate chip & pecan cookie. They are oh-so soft and chewy, and ya'll know how I feel about soft cookies vs. crunchy: http://skarymop.blogspot.com/2010_02_01_archive.html

Now, after all of this tantalizing teasing, I won't be able to post the recipe today. I really need to re-write and re-organize it before I can share it with you. All of the ingredients are completely out of order; it's mayhem, simply MAYHEM, I TELL YOU!! I really have no idea why I've put up with it for so long. All I know is that this year is the last year I shall ever make the famed Neiman-Marcus cookies following an incredibly disorganized recipe. AND THAT'S A PROMISE.

The Burnt-Sugar Almonds were a triumph from the Tasty Kitchen Blog, via Pioneer Woman:

http://thepioneerwoman.com/tasty-kitchen/recipes/holidays/burnt-sugar-almonds-gebrannte-mandeln/

These are just delicious. They smell so incredibly divine whilst cooking that you just might faint from the wonderfulness of it all. These bad boys are also very simple to make, but there's only one little problem with them. I tried to package them for gifts. It just didn't work. The almonds never made it past my living room. I ate them. My sister Megan ate them. I gave two bags away- one to some friends who just had a baby, and one to my brother and his girlfriend. And then...I ate the rest. Like I said...a bit of a problem. SO my unsolicited advice would be this:

TRIPLE the recipe. Really.

And now for something completely different...

One little thing I just love to do throughout the year is make new and exciting culinary discoveries. For example, in August of 2009, I discovered Trader Joe's Creamy Salted Peanut Butter, and my life has never been the same since. And then in October of 2009, I discovered pumpkin donuts at the little bakery a few blocks down from my house. Yes, I live within walking distance (with three kids in tow, no less!) from a great bakery. No, I try not to think about it, if I can help it. I decided it might be fun to share my top three culinary discoveries of 2010 with ya'll. And so, without further ado, here are my TOP THREE CULINARY DISCOVERIES OF 2010!!!!! (insert intro music from 2001 Space Odyssey *here*)

This, my friends, is Lyle's Golden Syrup. I needed to buy this for a flapjack recipe (a British cookie; not to be confused with the American pancake), and I can't sing its praises enough. Think of a burnt-carmel-ly tasting syrup. Think...*gasp* CREME BRULEE...yes. I see you nodding your head. You get it. Think of all the possibilities. I like to stir this in my oatmeal. I like this with peanut butter (Trader Joe's, of course). I like it...on a spoon out of the jar. I...like it. Alot. Try it! You'll find it with the rest of the syrups in your grocery store, provided your grocery store is as cool as mine. And now...

...introducing Maille Dijon Orginale Mustard. Oh. My. Stars. This makes my nostrils tingle in the most astounding manner. I made a dijon-mustard vinaigrette using this gem of a mustard, and I will never use American mustard again. Well, maybe on a burger. MAYBE. BUT...this is truly the finest dijon mustard I have ever laid a taste bud on. TRY IT. And last, but certainly not least...

Lemon Curd and Greek Yogurt! You must be so confused right now. Allow me to elaborate:

1) Grab a bowl.

2) Plop some Greek yogurt in the bowl.

3) Plop a small dollop of Lemon Curd into the yogurt.

4) Stir well.

5) Taste. Scream. Pass out.

Now, I can't take credit for this gorgeous snack. My dear friend Sarah informed me of this glorious happenstance of a culinary triumph. Sarah is ALWAYS reliable for a good old fashioned glorious happenstance of a culinary triumph. And for this, (and many, many other reasons) I do love her. But really; you must try it. It has become a favorite treat of mine. And if you haven't tried greek yogurt yet, then SHAME ON YOU. Just kidding. I'll forgive you if you hightail it to the grocery store RIGHT NOW to buy some greek yogurt. I'll wait.

*whistles*

What; you haven't gone yet? Well, all right, then. AND THERE YOU HAVE IT...a taste of a great cookie recipe to come, and my top three culinary discoveries of 2010. Well, I'm spent. I wish all of you a very Merry Christmas, and may you have a wonderful, peaceful time with loved ones. Eat good food, and treat each other well. :)

On handling Stress

Today's post will be short (everyone, go ahead and breathe a sigh of relief). Today I am quite stressed out for a number of reasons:

1) The church I attend puts on a Ladies' Cup of Christmas Tea every December, and I am hosting a table for 8. This is my 3rd year of hosting, so you'd think I wouldn't be stressed out at all, but nope. Because life is life, there are a few other elements added to the mix that causes my stress level to soar at an alarmingly high rate of speed.

2) Element #1: I played piano for a wedding yesterday. 'Nuff said.

3) Element #2: David woke up at 4:00 am this morning with the stomach flu. Now, stomach flu is never fun, but I had to go to my church this morning BECAUSE I WAS PLAYING THE OFFERTORY. So I went, played, and went home. Don't ask me what I played. I think (hoped) it was something Christmassy. All I remember is sitting down at the piano, watching someone else's hands play, and then thinking,"Whoa. What just happened?" I was not exactly what you'd call "focused" today.

4) Because I've been up so incredibly early today, I feel...sick. And THAT makes me nervous. Now begins the what Steve and I call the "waiting period." Yup. Waiting to see who gets the flu next...*screams*.

I've been slightly stressed out to begin with before the flu hit, but NOW I am definitely stressed out. Yes, yes; I know I'm whining. Just bear with me for a few wee paragraphs, okay?? Sheesh.

Things I tend to do when I'm stressed out:

1) Cry.

2)Wring my hands.

3) Pray.

4) Bake something. Anything.

5) Clean my bathroom. (Hey. Even if everything else gets overlooked, the bathroom needs to be cleaned. Or at least mine does. I live with 4 males, 3 of which are potty-trained)

6) Dance a jig. Or two.

7) Listen to a tremendous amount of "Mary Music".

8) Moan about how I'm never getting involved in anything again.

9) Dream of starting life anew as a farmer.

10) Pray.

11) Dream of being a hermit.

12) Turn a few triple salchows in my living room, just for heck of it.

13) Cook something edible.

14) Cry.

15) Scrapbook.

16) Play piano amidst the soundtrack of my life (wrestling, shouting, roaring boys).

17) Practice a few time steps in my kitchen, just for the heck of it.

18) Read lots of travel guides to anywhere except Wisconsin.

19) Call my sister Meg while I'm driving to Woodmans for the fiftieth time this month (the mecca super-grocery store in my city. I am quite sure I couldn't live without it).

20) Pray.

21) Dance one more jig.

You know...the list could go on and on and on and on and on...whoa, getting a little carried away here. MY POINT:

I will feel much better on Tuesday. :)

P.S. I have no idea how to turn a triple salchow, nor will I ever. I just thought it sounded cool.

P.P.S. I DO know how to dance a time step. A triple one, even!!

P.P.P.S. I...I...what was I going to say? Oh yes; I will takes oodles of pictures at the Christmas Tea and post them as soon I return from Mars. I hear it's lovely this time of year. Happy Sunday to you all, and to all a good afternoon.

17 Easy steps to making pumpkin muffins

It was a glorious afternoon; so full of promise, so full of inspiration and delight. The two younger boys were down for their afternoon naps. David was happily playing on his own (miraculously enough). I was filled with a burning, unquenchable desire to make something that bellowed in no uncertain terms "FALLLLLLLLL!!!!!!" Now hear this: I am well aware that Fall is well on its way out and Winter is crouched at the door like an evil, rabid moose, but until Thanksgiving has come and gone, I will prolong my favorite season as long as I possibly can. This desperate effort is manifested in many forms. Sometimes it's raking up whatever wet, sludgy leaves are left on the yard, and saying heartily,"Have at it, boys!" Then the boys stare at the 1-foot pile of sludge in front of them, and because it's dirty and gross, they jump right in. Sometimes I scrapbook 3 different layouts about Fall, The Pumpkin Farm, and Jumping In The Leaves simply because:

1) I own the best autumn-themed scrapbooking paper in the entire world, and no one will ever convince me otherwise.

2) I can!!

BUT...the most logical effort for me to prolong my precious Fall season is to bake.

Of course.

So let's get back to that glorious afternoon, shall we??

It was an Epiphany of Epiphanies. I was beginning to run out of ideas. I had already made pumpkin pancakes and pumpkin dip. I still had quite a bit of pumpkin puree in my fridge. As my sweet Daniel likes to say, "Oh, what to do, what to do??" AND THEN...*trumpet fanfare* I had it. PUMPKIN MUFFINS. Oh yeah. To the MacBook, Batman!! I already had a pumpkin muffin recipe I was less-than enthusiastic about. So I went to my beloved Pioneer Woman for wise counsel, and of course, she came through for me. SO...ladies and gentlemen, without further ado, I bring you EASY STEPS TO MAKING PUMPKIN MUFFINS!!!

1) After being inspired to make the aforementioned muffins, ignore the laundry that desperately needs folding.

2) Add food coloring to a sink full of water and fill with plastic toys for David.

3) Happy Boy. :)

4) Mix flour with spices. Inhale. Thank the Lord, for He is Good.

5) Cut half a stick of butter into small pieces. Give in to that incredibly rebellious feeling.

6) Wield the instrument of righteousness. Best. Pastry Blender. Ever. (Crate and Barrel, my friends!)

7) Ahh. Fresh pumpkin puree.

8) Look at the time. Panic.

9) David asks if he can help. I say,"Sure, Buddy." David shrieks,"OH, THANK YOU, THANK YOU!!" I need to take these kids out more.

10) Inwardly lament over the massive pile of very small plastic toys that are now taking up my entire drying rack. I try not to sweat the small stuff (emphasis on "try").

11) I like to call this one "Uncle Nate".

12) Uh-Oh. Looks like Darth Vader got the best of Uncle Nate. "You have much to learn, young Skywalker, er, Uncle Nate. MUAHAHAHAHA!!"

13) Taste.

14) Yummy!!

15) Forget to take pictures of the finished product.

16) Kick yourself for forgetting.

17) Eat the dang muffins anyway.

And there you have it. 17 easy steps to making pumpkin muffins! And, OH, my friends; they are so very good. As they were baking, they filled my house with all the delectable, spicy aroma you'd expect from any self-respecting pumpkin muffin. And I love it when my house actually smells good. Most of the time it just smells like, well, BOYS. A word of wisdom: Trust Pioneer Woman. I got a little crazy and decided to use whole milk rather than the evaporated milk that the recipe called for, and while the muffins were positively delicious, their shelf life was a bit lacking. They became a tad mushy within a day, and I think they would have held up better had I obeyed the recipe rather than giving in to my own foolish flights of fancy. "Foolish Flights of Fancy"...what great alliteration!! *ahem* ANYWAY...here's the linky-dinky-doo:

http://thepioneerwoman.com/cooking/2009/10/moist-pumpkin-spice-muffins-with-cream-cheese-frosting/

Now GO FORTH...and make the most of what very little Fall we have left before that giant, rabid Moose called Winter knocks down the door and eats us all. Can you tell I'm not a huge fan of Winter? Oh, well. Here's a pre-emptive "HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!!!" to all of my readers out there. I really appreciate all of the feedback I receive, and I love sharing my little moments of culinary chaos with you. Thank you. :)

Reflections on 4 years of motherhood

David turned 4 years old on Tuesday. He is my firstborn; my introduction into this crazy thing we call "Parenthood". He is my favorite firstborn son. He is...

...A very small maniac. Don't let those beautiful brown eyes fool you. This child is hard-core, ultra-intense, passionate, all-out, and of course, brilliant. Hmm. Goodness, he reminds me of someone. Who could it be...oh, of course. ME. Minus the brilliant part. David not only looks like me, but he has inherited my intense and passionate personality. The only thing he didn't get from me is his flair for the dramatic, because I am not dramatic at all. Not one iota. Nope. No drama here. *falls on the floor from suppressed laughter* David also is quite sure that he is a superhero. Not any one in particular, but he definitely feels the need to "Save the Day".

He is like his father in that aspect. Steve definitely feels the need to save the day. Alot.

I love how David lines up his cars.

I love how David builds his "really, really HUGE towers".

I love that he loves to get dirty and play outside with his bulldozers and other outdoorsy toys.

I love how he always wants to help me in the kitchen.

Yes, he's wearing a Starbucks apron. I had a short stint at Starbucks in college. This is why I'm addicted to Chai Lattes. Moving on...

Yes; I love all these things about my David boy. But what I love the most is that I learned how to be a mommy with David, and I am still learning every day. For some reason, God saw fit to bless me with three beautiful boys, and for this, I am inexpressibly grateful. Here is a little ditty I wrote about motherhood when David was about 2 months old:

A Young Mother's Prayer

Oh, Lord God,

I thank Thee for the gift of motherhood.

Nothing is so sweet as the clinging of a tiny hand.

The burying of a little head upon one's shoulder.

The first smile.

The steady gaze into mommy's eyes.

These are the things that really matter.

Help me in motherhood, Lord.

Help me to put You first so that I might be worthy of the task before me.

Help me to nurture the relationship between my husband and I so that our children will be confident in our love.

Help me to encourage my husband so that he might be worthy of the task before him.

Help me to be patient with my children so they might be patient with others.

Help me to choose my words wisely so that I might illumine and not darken their minds.

Help me to be selfless so they might learn what it means to be self-sacrificing.

Help me to train them up in Your way, Lord, so that they will not depart from it when they are old.

Help me to be aware of my actions, knowing that little eyes are upon me at all times.

Help me to do all for the glory of God, and not man.

I thank Thee for this blessed privilege.

May my husband and I raise children for Your glory and honor.

In Jesus' blessed name,

Amen.

Happy Birthday, Buddy. You are my gift from above.