The Cookie You Just Can't Live Without

A couple of posts back, I had promised to post a re-organized version of the Neiman-Marcus cookies, and that is exactly what I am doing right...NOW!!! Here we go.

Neiman-Marcus Cookies

5 c. oatmeal

2 c. butter (4 sticks. Yes. You read that right. 4 STICKS OF BEAUTIFUL, GLORIOUS BUTTER).

2 c. granulated sugar

2 c. brown sugar

4 eggs

2 tsp. vanilla

4 c. flour

1 tsp. salt

2 tsp. baking powder

2 tsp. baking soda

3 c. semisweet chocolate chips

One 8-oz Hershey Bar; grated (A word of advice-stick this monstrosity in the freezer for about 15 minutes before you attempt to grate it. You'll thank me later. Oh, and a box grater is fine. There's really no easy way to complete this step. Just...oh, just brace yourself).

3 c. chopped pecans

Take a deep breath...let's do this.

Blend oatmeal to a fine powder. In a mixer, cream butter and both white and brown sugar. Add eggs and vanilla. Mix together blended oatmeal, flour, salt, baking powder, and baking soda. Slowly add to mixer (I usually add about one cup at a time). Once your mixer starts smoking and the engine feels hot, dump the cookie dough into the largest bowl you own. I'm talking MAMMOTH sized bowl. Add the chocolate chips, grated Hershey Bar, and chopped pecans, and mix together using your CLEAN BARE HANDS. Once everything is fairly well conglomerated, roll cookie dough into small balls (think ping-pong ball) and place 2" apart on a cookie sheet. Bake 10 minutes at 375 degrees.

Yield: 120 cookies.

Yep. 120 cookies. These could be the only Christmas cookie you'll ever make again. I am that confident in its wonderfulness. One more word of advice: DO NOT EVEN CONSIDER THINKING OF REDUCING THE AMOUNT OF BUTTER. So there. Now it time for me to turn up the heat because it's about -50 outside right now, start the dishwasher, wash up, and tumble into bed. Oh, one more thing: Feel free to halve the recipe. I know it's a wild mustang of a cookie recipe, so don't let the vastness of it all intimidate you. With that, I leave you one of my favorite quotes of all time (this may or may not be a perfect quote):

"Do not let anyone make you feel inferior without your consent." - Eleanor Roosevelt.

And that goes for insanely high-yield cookie recipes!! Tackle it...be fearless.

Panic.

Oh my. Oh me, oh my. Where does one begin? Well, here goes. Warning: the following will most likely not make very much sense. At all. Consider yourself warned.

Last night, our van died. The transmission decided that it had lived a full life, and the seven-degree temperatures only encouraged its decision to give up the mechanical ghost.

We are officially now a one-car family. *Insert massive shrieks and screams and rolling around the floor, convulsing*

We are shopping for a "new" car. I'm hoping for something that will last for about, oh, I don't know. 50 years? There are cars that last 50 years, right? Hmph. I thought so.

My kitchen floor is gross. I didn't say goodbye to Sarah. I've been feeling like a sad excuse for a mother lately. I want to go to North Carolina. I need to go to bed earlier. I need to scrapbook. I wish Spring started tomorrow. Hurray; "Three's Company" is on!!! Speaking of tuna, I will be making the Bouchons Au Thon tomorrow. I want to go to North Carolina. There's nothing like clean kitchen counters. Becoming a coffee drinker has never been more tempting. It's time to buy a navy blue jumpsuit! God Bless my mother-in-law; she comes up on Thursdays and does laundry all day. Steve is being very patient with me right now. I had some Hickory-Smoked Barbecue Sauce the other day, and I nearly cried. I want to go to North Carolina. I've discovered a new tea. I forgot the name. I love my three boys. Speaking of good haircuts, we finally started doing school again, and it's going quite well. I'm going to run tomorrow, dangit! I am grateful for having braces. I'm thirsty. Which reminds me, where is that blasted Kleenex box?? At any rate, I love my mattress, and that is where I'm headed right...about...NOW. Good night. Maybe I'll be more coherent and less random later this week. Which reminds me, I need to balance my checkbook. Good night.