5 c. oatmeal
2 c. butter (4 sticks. Yes. You read that right. 4 STICKS OF BEAUTIFUL, GLORIOUS BUTTER).
2 c. granulated sugar
2 c. brown sugar
2 tsp. vanilla
4 c. flour
1 tsp. salt
2 tsp. baking powder
2 tsp. baking soda
3 c. semisweet chocolate chips
One 8-oz Hershey Bar; grated (A word of advice-stick this monstrosity in the freezer for about 15 minutes before you attempt to grate it. You'll thank me later. Oh, and a box grater is fine. There's really no easy way to complete this step. Just...oh, just brace yourself).
3 c. chopped pecans
Take a deep breath...let's do this.
Blend oatmeal to a fine powder. In a mixer, cream butter and both white and brown sugar. Add eggs and vanilla. Mix together blended oatmeal, flour, salt, baking powder, and baking soda. Slowly add to mixer (I usually add about one cup at a time). Once your mixer starts smoking and the engine feels hot, dump the cookie dough into the largest bowl you own. I'm talking MAMMOTH sized bowl. Add the chocolate chips, grated Hershey Bar, and chopped pecans, and mix together using your CLEAN BARE HANDS. Once everything is fairly well conglomerated, roll cookie dough into small balls (think ping-pong ball) and place 2" apart on a cookie sheet. Bake 10 minutes at 375 degrees.
Yield: 120 cookies.
Yep. 120 cookies. These could be the only Christmas cookie you'll ever make again. I am that confident in its wonderfulness. One more word of advice: DO NOT EVEN CONSIDER THINKING OF REDUCING THE AMOUNT OF BUTTER. So there. Now it time for me to turn up the heat because it's about -50 outside right now, start the dishwasher, wash up, and tumble into bed. Oh, one more thing: Feel free to halve the recipe. I know it's a wild mustang of a cookie recipe, so don't let the vastness of it all intimidate you. With that, I leave you one of my favorite quotes of all time (this may or may not be a perfect quote):
"Do not let anyone make you feel inferior without your consent." - Eleanor Roosevelt.
And that goes for insanely high-yield cookie recipes!! Tackle it...be fearless.