Flat-bread pizza. Yes.
Carsick every time I stepped into the car. No.
A leech on my foot. (it was tiny; no big deal, really)
No sleep. No sleep. No. Sleep.
Gigantic bathtub. Yes.
Getting water stuck in my ear approximately 5 seconds after stepping into the tub. No. (It's still there, by the way. So please remember, I'm not deaf. I just have a small reservoir of water in my head. Just talk loud, and we'll get through this together.)
Lucas getting an ear infection and having to go to a random walk-in clinic. No.
Fantastic cottage with a truly awesome kitchen. Yes.
20 hours in the car each way. No. No. No.
Everyone surviving and making it home in one piece. Yes.
As you can see, it was truly a paradoxical vacation. I feel as though I need to elaborate a bit on the above statements. And so, I shall. And now...it's time for a regularly scheduled warning:
*Warning: The following tale will be long. Quite long. It shall be punctuated with rabbit trails specifically designed to make zero sense whatsoever. This shall be an outpouring of my soul on the event to which we refer to as "Vermont". I am falling asleep already, so I do not blame you if you do the same. I ate greek yogurt before writing just to boost my morale, energy, and courage, but I'm still waiting for these virtues to burst forth with all the ferocity of a young squirrel. I don't think it's going to happen. End of warning.*
We are not quite ready to get started.
Rabbit Trail #1:
You won't ever see me complain on Facebook. Ever. I will occasionally report on unfortunate events that occur in my household, but whining? Complaining? I won't do it, I tell you. Why, you may ask? I am an ardent believer in NOT airing one's dirty laundry on Facebook. It's one thing to reach out for the occasional sympathy, but constant complaining and whining about life is not exactly a good way to endear one's friends. But my blog? That's a different story. While I try to remain optimistic and rise above bad days, etc., this is, after all, my blog, and if I wish to take the time to expound upon my horrifically wonderful vacation, then that is exactly what I shall do.
Okay, now we're ready to begin.
Are you ready?
Good. Because I'm not.
We shall start with Traveling Day One. The funny thing about our entire trip is that the driving part really was not all that bad. Really! Granted, I have absolutely NO IDEA what we would have done without my sister Meg assisting us with snacks, discipline, DVD players, drinks, referee-ing, etc., etc., etc. Oh, wait. I know. WE WOULD HAVE DIED. Anyway, traveling was the least of our problems throughout the entire Vermont experience. We made it to Westfield, NY on Day One with no problem, other than being seriously pooped. Westfield was a very charming town with lots of older, beautiful, well-kept homes. I really liked it. We had dinner at a local family-style restaurant, and I had a fantastic cup of clam chowder and a perfect BLT. Life was good. Our little motel was clean (that's all I ask), but I COULD NOT SLEEP. How is that possible? I had been up since 4:00 am, and on the road since 5:30. How on earth could I not sleep?? The tenant next door decided it was a good idea to watch TV ALL NIGHT, and so my random moments of drowsiness were punctuated with muffled TV shows. I was having all of these horrible, paranoid thoughts of a psychopath killer busting through our door and taking us out. What on earth?? Somehow we managed to eat some dry cereal and get back on the road by 7:00 am. I fell asleep almost instantly. I am quite sure I snored. Much.
Fast-forward 12 hours on the New York Thruway...
Vermont. We made it, we made it! Daniel screamed almost non-stop for the last hour of our trip, but that's normal for him on long trips. The cottage did not disappoint. I promise I will post pics soon, but I lack the strength, perseverance, and patience for that tonight. Onward. I made pasta for dinner that first night. Easy. Yum. Boy, was I looking forward to bedtime. Except...
I did not sleep. Again.
And the boys woke up at the crack of dawn. Naturally.
I tried. I really did. I made a sad breakfast, and then we drove one mile to the local general store because we were too lazy to walk. We bought some basics, went home, and I proceeded to make a second breakfast because:
1) We were starving.
2) We were starving.
After breakfast #2, I passed out. Somewhere. Was it the couch? Was it the bed? I don't remember.
Fast forward to a time when I was upright and functioning.
We had a few fun days. Bopping around Bristol, VT. Very nice bakery and cafe. Being surrounded by the Green Mountain National Forest was relaxing and beautiful. I learned the power of napping in an Adirondack chair. We had a wonderful visit to Shelburne Farms. The kids milked a cow, held chickens, petted sheep, goats, and calves. And washed their hands many, many, many times. We made daily visits to our swimming hole. I loved that little place. I loved exploring the little waterfalls with the boys and helping them catch their first frog. I took many, many great pictures. Things were looking up.
Then Lucas began acting...weird.
This is the perfect child, you understand. No whining, no crying. Almost ever.
Besides the fact that Lucas decided it was just as good a time as any to start growing a mullet, he began to fuss and cry almost constantly.
Rabbit Trail #2:
I just wanted to thank you for never, ever styling my hair in a mullet. As a child born in 1983, I can't imagine the pressure of society as nearly every boy and girl was sent to school sporting a mullet. I am so thankful I have absolutely no childhood pictures whatsoever of me with a mullet. Thank you for resisting one of the most ridiculous fashion fads known to mankind. I am forever indebted to you.
End of Rabbit Trail #2.
Long story short, our poor wittle Lucas developed an ear infection. He seemed to have bounced back one fine day, so we decided to take a risk and head out to Burlington, Vermont (which I LOVED), but after lunch at Boloca (such a lovely Cajun burrito!!), he developed a high fever, so it was off to a random walk-in clinic for us. Thankfully, an ear infection was most certainly not the end of the world, and Lukie responded quickly to his medicine. By the time we got Lucas's situation resolved, we had two days of vacation left. We headed back to the cottage, exhausted.
David woke up with a raging fever.
Daniel woke up puking.
Needless to say, that day was a wash. I mean, quite literally. I did a tremendous amount of laundry that day. Thank goodness for a washer and dryer at the cottage.
Rabbit Trail #3:
It was an absolute luxury to me to have a washer and dryer at the cottage. The washer was fast, flashy, and quite brilliant. It also played a charming little tune when turned on. But the dryer seemed to be somewhat impaired. I could wash three loads in the time it took to dry one load. Over two hours to dry!! I was slightly exasperated by this. There were many piles of wet clothes in the laundry room while I waited for the dryer to complete the impossible dream. Alas. Convenience always has a price.
End of Rabbit Trail #3.
It was quite the time. I felt awful for dragging the kids halfway across the country, only to have all of them get sick. I still hadn't slept very much at all, so I think by the time Friday rolled around, it is possible I might have been legally insane. Cool! I wonder what it's like to be illegally insane...but I digress.
And so, with three sick boys, and hurricane roaring up the coast, and my poor sister stricken with a random attack of vertigo the night before we left, we packed up our things, tidied up the cottage, and left Vermont very early on Saturday morning with our proverbial tails tucked between our legs. Life just stinks sometimes, and there ain't a darn thing you can do about it, other than to move on, and just keep moving.
You'd think with Vermont behind us, things would settle down a bit. Well, that is partially true. We were riding high on the adrenaline of "We're going home! We're going home!!", but there were quite a few crazy hijinks on the way home. But you know what?
You'll have to come back tomorrow to find out what happened. :)
Thus ends Vermont, Part I.