On the Ironies of Life, Michael Jackson, and A Bunch Of Other Things You Could Probably Live Without.

Reasons why I am blogging at 4:34 am:

1) I woke up at 4:00, completely, totally, and utterly awake. I'm going to be presumptuous and attribute this insomnia to the fact that I went to bed with the most excruciating of migraines/side effects/Lord only knows what type of pain at about 7:30 pm on Friday, and did not truly emerge from my bed until about 3:00 pm yesterday afternoon. What can truly be said about one's first migraine (if that is, indeed, what it is. Or was. Goodness, I can't be bothered with proper grammar right now!)? It's like being in labor. IN YOUR HEAD. It's like having mega-contractions in your head. The waves of mind-bending pain. The waves of nausea. The waves. Oh, the waves.

2) I've got the burps from the beans in the white chili I made last night. "Burps from The Beans." It should be a song! Or not. The white chili was fabulous, by the way. Thanks for asking!

3) I'm starving. Go figure. I haven't eaten much in the past 24 hours. Except for white chili, of course.

4) I was inspired to blog. And browse Etsy. At 4:34 in the morning, no less! I have found that Etsy does this to me. All of a sudden, BAM!! Inspiration hits on the home decor front, and because I have to be difficult, I rarely can find what I'm looking for in chain stores (although I must say I have had great luck with Target and IKEA in the past), so off I trundle to Etsy. When the Etsy siren calls, you answer. You must go to her, my friends. Don't be like me and start browsing at 4:34 am, but go to her. When the time is right, you must go. YOU. MUST. GO.

Have I convinced you yet?

Anyway, I'm supposed to be blogging about the ironies of life. Ah, yes. Life. It is truly ironic at times. Because certain things have been occurring in my life lately, I cannot help but reflect upon these said ironies, which of course has led to Alannis Morisette's song "Ironic" bopping through my mind as of late. Not that I am a fan of Ms. Morisette, because I'm actually not. I don't even own a single CD of hers. Steve does, but then again, Steve owns just about every CD there is to own known to man ON THE FACE OF THE ENTIRE PLANET. From Michael Jackson to Tesla (ew), he's got it. From "Classical Thunder" to the soundtrack from "The Wedding Singer", he's got it. Hey, if it wasn't for Steve, I would have no idea how revolutionary Michael Jackson was in the world of pop music. Really! Before I met Steve, I knew two (2) things about Michael Jackson:

1) My Grandma Jeanne was hopelessly in love with him.

2) My dad and his brothers (Uncle Mark and Uncle Brad) would inevitably tease her at every single family gathering about her undying devotion to Michael Jackson. WITHOUT FAIL.

And that was all I knew about Michael Jackson.

So when Steve came moonwalking into my life (HAHA- just kidding), I had no idea that I would discover that:

1) Michael Jackson was an insanely gifted child prodigy.

2) He developed a completely new sound in the world of pop music. A sound that, I am somewhat loathe to admit, find quite catchy. Hey, did you know that Michael Jackson's "Billie Jean" and David Bowie's "Let's Dance" were the top two songs in popularity during the year I was born? I'll bet you DIDN'T!! I realize I'm dating myself here, but A): I really don't care, and B) It just goes to show you that the music of Mr. Bowie and I were meant to be.

Anyway. Anyway. ANYWAY...

The music of Michael Jackson was also made slightly more palatable to me after viewing the music video of "Beat It". And even more so after viewing Weird Al's parody "Eat It". Steve found a brilliant video on YouTube which portrays the Michael Jackson version in the upper portion of the screen, and the Weird Al version in the lower portion. You will understand after watching the first 10 seconds why I find this so amusing. Oh, will you understand. I realize this rambling about Michael Jackson may result in my losing followers, but hey; you can't lose what you don't have, am I right?? So here we go. *Warning: This is my first attempt posting a YouTube video to my blog, and I have no idea how this is going to go. So, please be patient with me as I navigate the fearsome waters of the world wide web. Take some dramamine, if you must. Grab a life preserver. Hang on for dear life, and we'll get through this together.*

And that's all I really have to say about Michael Jackson.

Anyway, ironies. There's actually not a whole lot I can say right now about the current situation in my life, but this might help to sum things up:

I asked for England, and I got Union Grove.

I asked for Shaker Heights, and I got Kenosha.

I asked for Maine, and I got Wisconsin.

I asked for North Carolina, and I got Wisconsin.

I asked for the Pacific Northwest, and I'm getting...The Midwest.

I know; I know. Cryptic as all get out, but I will reveal things bit by bit as time goes on. To help ease the pain, here's my white chili recipe from last night (burps are optional):

White Chili- adapted from "Fix-It and Forget It".

1 chicken breast, cooked and cubed

2 cans of Great Northern Beans, drained

3 1/2 cups chicken broth

1 cup frozen corn kernels

1 small yellow bell pepper, chopped

1 small onion, chopped

1 4 oz. can diced green chilies (whatever level of hotness your palate desires!!)

1 tsp. ground cumin

1/2 tsp. dried oregano

1/2 tsp. salt

Combine all ingredients in a slow cooker; cook on low for 6-8 hours or on high for 3-4 hours. You can also combine all ingredients in a dutch oven/stockpot and simmer for an hour on medium. See below for incredibly marvelous toppings.

Toppings: crushed tortilla chips, sour cream, and shredded cheddar cheese. Some people like tomatoes for a topping on their white chili. I don't.

So there you have it. We've covered a lot of ground tonight, folks. A LOT. I am going to be adding a new category or two to this here blog, so stick with me as I revamp things around here. And now...off to conquer a rather small mountain of laundry.

Friday Fotos

Once upon a time, there was a girl named Mary who had to take antibiotics for a sinus infection. Mary proceeded to have a severe allergic reaction to the aforementioned antibiotics. Since returning from the ER on Sunday, Mary has been in a walking coma due to a delightful cornucopia of drugs. In other words, I feel perfectly awful and shan't be wasting any time with any additional comments today. Here we go:

Can you tell I have summertime on the mind? Happy Friday, everyone!!

Fab Five Friday Foto(s) Part II

Happy Friday to all! Just as I promised, here's the next group in an excruciatingly long series of...

FAB FIVE FRIDAY FOTO(S)!!!!!!

Yay for Fridays!! Since I am so exhausted I can barely see straight, let's get right to it, shall we?

This is my beloved workspace. The bulk of the magic happens here. Let's pretend that the empty jar next to the flour canister is bursting forth with homemade blueberry almond granola goodness, shall we? Because most of the time it is. Honest!

Aww! Daddy and David having a little snuggle time. Steve is sporting a rare five 'o-clock shadow...I like to call this look,"The Canadian Lumberjack".

In tribute to one of my favorite rock-n-rollers of all time, I call this, "Little Starman". David Bowie, I will always love you.

This is my personal favorite of the bunch. I call it, "Spring Hath Sprung!!" :)

And then along comes Mareeeeeeeee....

You must forgive my childish exuberance. When you live in Wisconsin, and the good Lord hands you a nice day in March, you do the right thing. You lose your mind. Well, that'll do it for today! Or rather, tonight. Have a perfectly lovely weekend, ya'll! Go outside...take some pics...enjoy the beginnings of spring...and maybe even lose your mind a little. Check back next week for the third installment of...well, you know. :)

Fab Five Friday Foto(s)

Before we get started, let me clarify something:

I am well aware that today is NOT Friday.

Phew! SO glad we got that out of the way.

I've been doing a bit of brainstorming lately in the way of coming up with recurring themes for this here blog. Different ideas came and went...Wacky Waldorf Wednesdays...nah...Totally Tubular Tuna Tuesdays...meh...Mangey Monday Mackerel Meatloaf...Wow, can we say a resounding NO?? Wait a minute...wait just a minute!

I'VE GOT IT!!!

Because I so desperately need some form of accountability/routine/sense of expectations, I hereby declare every Friday on The Epic Adventures of Skarymop & Co. shall beeeeee....

"FAB FIVE FRIDAY FOTO(s)!!!!"

Let's give it up for a good idea; okay, folks? WOO HOO!

It's really quite simple. Every Friday, I shall post five (no more, no less) pics. Hence the name, "Fab Five Friday Foto(s)". I've decided I like it. I really do. And yes; I know that "Foto(s)" is a colloquial spelling. Calm down, folks. Just trying to keep the alliteration hip and happening. These photos may be sequential. THEY MIGHT NOT. There may be captions to these photos. THERE MAY NOT BE ANY. You will just have to languish in the anticipation of it all! "Will she post captions this week?? The suspense is positively KILLING me!!" Well, languish no more, my friends! For now, (on a Saturday night, no less) is the first set of "Foto(s)" in an excruciatingly long series that will be known as "FAB FIVE FRIDAY FOTO(S)!!!"

Here we go.

Now that went quite well; don't you think?

I hope you enjoyed the first installment of "Fab Five Friday Foto(s)"!! I look forward to sharing many more photos of my epic adventures with ya'll. Enjoy the rest of your weekend!

I am not ashamed of my microwave.

Okay, question for you. Who has a microwave?? Raise your hand! Higher!! No shame! Although I am most perplexed as to why anyone would be ashamed of their own little bundle of contained radioactivity, I just wanted to go on record to say this:

1) I love my microwave.

2) I use it every day.

3) It's a beautiful, sleek, sassy stainless steel.

And now for a short history of our stainless steel beauty...

Steve bought our new microwave about 4 years ago when our old, teeny, tiny little white microwave started humming and buzzing furiously every time we'd use it. Steve trundled off to Best Buy in search of a new microwave. Nothing fancy, I told him. Basically the same thing we already had (minus the furious humming and buzzing). Imagine my surprise when he came home with THIS...

Look! There's my hilariously elongated face and fingers! Cool! Anyway, I was shocked, speechless, and totally STOKED out of my mind. Did I mention this thing is HUGE?? Because it is! "What happened?" I asked Steve, confused by the beauty . "Well," he replied, "This was the best. And I know how you feel about stainless steel."

Yep. I love this guy.

And that is a short history of my microwave. Don't you feel enlightened?

Lately, though, my microwave has desperately needed a good cleansing. So just for fun, I thought I'd post something PRACTICAL for a change: my favorite method for cleaning my microwave!!!! Aren't ya'll just SO excited? I beg of you; contain yourselves!

And now, without further ado...

My favorite method for cleaning my microwave.

By Mary Johnson the first, and quite possibly the last.

1) Slice a lemon in half.

2) Place one of the lemon halves in a coffee cup.

3) Fill with water.

4) Microwave for 2 minutes; let sit for 5 minutes in the microwave. No peeking!!

5) Using your favorite all-purpose cleaner, wipe down the inside of the microwave with the greatest of ease. The steam of the water helps that cooked-on spaghetti sauce come right off, and the lemon deodorizes like no one's business! Goodbye, stale microwave stench!!

IT'S SO EASY, and very effective. I like to wipe it down with a 50/50 mix of vinegar and water, and a microfiber cloth. I shall now be so bold as to expose the inners and outers of my microwave...I'm living dangerously today, folks!

Gleaming, glamour girl.

Spotless. For now.

What more can I possibly say?

I've included this picture because it shows my approval and satisfaction of a job well done. Oh, and because it looks like there are a bunch of knives sticking into my head. Awesome!

I discovered this cleaning method while perusing an old issue of Real Simple magazine. What's your favorite way to clean your microwave? Inquiring minds want to know! If you don't have a favorite way to clean your microwave, that's okay; just shout out your favorite kind of sandwich or something completely and utterly random. There are no prizes for this; just a fun way to get to know ya'll better! And now, if you would excuse me, I need to go smell my microwave.

And The Winner Is...

First off, I have something to say.

This had to be the most hilarious giveaway in the history of blogging giveaways. I used the random number generator at good ol' random.org, even though I could have written the numbers down on a scrap o' paper, thrown them into a hat, and pulled one out because I had a grand total...are you ready for this...4 ENTRIES.

Yep. You read that right. 4 big ones.

But you know what? That's okay.

It's moments like this when I am especially thankful I have the gift of laughing at myself. I do this...often. Laughing at myself, that is. Anyway. Let's get to it, shall we???

*And the winner of the February 2011 skarymop.blogspot giveaway is...*

#3 Heather Dzioba!!!!!!!!!

YAY HEATHER!!!!!! WOO HOO!!! SLAP ME FIVE! YEAH!

You are now the proud owner of "A Homemade Life" by Molly Wizenberg. Yippee Skippee and a bucket of rum. What? Normally, I'd say,'Contact me at skarymop@yahoo.com to claim your prize', but since I'm going to be scrapbooking with you on Friday night, I'll just bring it then. :)

So there we go. Look forward to the next giveaway in the year 2021!!! Can't wait! Stay tuned for more adventures...

Happy Blog-iversary to meeee...and a Giveaway!!

Hip, Hip, Hooray!! It's my first Blog-iversary today!! Today marks the one-year anniversary of my entry into this vast expanse known as...THE BLOGOSPHERE. *eerie, space-age sounding music ensues*. To celebrate, I shall do two things:

1) Share some fairly useless thoughts on blogging.

2) Announce my first (and possibly ONLY ) giveaway!! Nah, I'm just kiddin'. I'll gladly host another giveaway when I reach 50 followers. At the rate I'm going, this giveaway will occur in about 13.75 years. Give or take. Anyway...

I refuse to rain on my own parade. Wait; what?

Okay, I'm starting to annoy myself. Let's get to it!!

Fairly Useless Thoughts On Blogging

By Mary J. Johnson.

And a partridge in a pear tree. Boy, am I giddy tonight.

1) You've got to blog more than once a month. I figured this out rather quickly. As much as I love to spin a yarn of epic proportions, I was so spent from spinning said yarns that I felt I could rest on my bloggy laurels and leave my poor blog to languish for a few weeks in between posts. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. You've got to tend the fires, my friends. So now, I try REALLY REALLY hard to blog at least once a week. I'm not always able to accomplish this goal, but I am definitely working towards this.

2) Be yourself. Always, always, unapologetically be yourself. A blog should be your happy place!! A place to create, express yourself, and just have a rip-roaring good time.

3) Don't be afraid to try new things. I know this is one of the main themes of my blog in general, but this also applies to learning about the finer points of blogging, i.e., web-design type STUFF, etc. It's always a good thing to keep learning. ALWAYS.

The End.

Do I get an "A"? I'm a Dean's List student with a slight Type A personality; I NEED to get an "A"!!

And now...

The moment you've all been waiting for...THE GIVEAWAY!!! *triumphant trumpet music ensues*

Here it is:

http://www.amazon.com/Homemade-Life-Stories-Recipes-Kitchen/dp/B004EYUDIM/ref=tmm_pap_title_0?ie=UTF8&qid=1298347675&sr=1-1

The giveaway is none other than the book, "A Homemade Life: Stories and Recipes From My Kitchen Table" by Molly Wizenberg. If you've read even just a little bit of my blog, you know that Ms. Molly has been a tremendous influence and inspiration in my culinary adventures. Not only can this lovely gal cook, but she can write. Oh, can she write. In fact, Molly Wizenberg is one of my biggest inspirations in starting this here blog. From her captivating tales of living in Paris as a young college student, heart-warming recollections of baking late into the night with her parents, to the beginnings of her own blog, this book is a feast for the mind and heart from beginning to end. Every chapter ends with a recipe, so it's a cookbook, as well!! TWO FOR ONE! I am so generous. Bottom line: I love this book. I cook from it frequently, and I still cry every time I read it. So here's the deal, kids:

If you want to be entered into the giveaway, answer this question below in the comments section:

"Where are you and your family planning on going for a summer vacation this year?"

And that's all! A winner will be randomly chosen and announced Wednesday night.

Thank you for being a part of my first year of blogging. I've had myself a lovely time, and I SO look forward to this coming year. :) Upward and onward with The Epic Adventures of Skarymop & Co.!!